Embrace Your Inner Thug

An In-Depth Look at What It’s Like to be At a Job for Dang Near Twenty Years With a Bunch of People Who Haven’t, and Other Related Nonsense

So I walked into work this morning singing one of the oldest songs I know, “I Got Mexico,” by Eddy Raven. I was knocking it out pretty good when I stepped through the door and stopped dead in my tracks.

I know I looked like a tree full of owls when the music from the tiny player with the big noise assaulted my ears with some horrible pounding and an almost constant stream of profanity. It was at that very moment that I realized that I have to make this side hustle more than a side hustle, or my cheese will slide completely off my cracker before year’s end.

It was apparent to my young and super giggly coworkers (I wanted to say uber but I don’t know how to make the 2 dots on top of the u) that I was not “down” with the music even though every once in a while I could distinguish a slightly redeeming quality to the song.

Meghan, the girl who sits closest to me on the end that you’re banished to right before you’re kicked out the door for good, told me “embrace your inner thug.”

That struck me as oddly hilarious, and certainly copy-worthy, so here I am with a long and drawn-out explanation of the first five minutes in a morning that reiterated my old age for me.