I am White Wolf.

You know me and have searched for me all your life.

I’m here.

I’m waiting for you, just as I’ve always been.

This world is too noisy.

The sadness in your life keeps repeating itself, Mourning Song. The moon and the earth cry out to you, but you no longer hear their voices.

The sound in your ears is too loud; the noise of the day you are in is too strong.

Your vision is cloudy.

You’ve fought a good fight to get through the fog. You think you’ve won, but you haven’t.

You’re in a different world now.

The fog is deceptive and has many holes along the way for you to stumble into. You run as if you have no worries, yet your mind is cloudy and your heart is heavy with pain.

You are afraid of the truth.

Be still, Mourning Song.

The boy is here with me. We hunt and fish together, and I have taught him many things. He is safe, and the Great Spirit welcomed him. He is home.

Your life has become careless.

You don’t recognize danger anymore, Mourning Song. The Great Spirit is grieved. You don’t even realize you are lost.

My name does not cross your mind.

Gone are the memories of running through the grass with me, falling together in its softness and promising eternal love.

I walk here without you.

I wait for you to remember and to come home.

My gifts go unnoticed.

I leave things for you and if you see them, you puzzle over them as you pick them up, as if searching for an elusive memory or a dream that you can’t quite grasp.

You contemplate my offerings: a feather, a stone, a twig that I have made my mark on. Sometimes you close your eyes and allow the drift, but more often you toss my gift away as if it means nothing.

You’ve become complacent.

You’ve forgotten who you are. The Great Spirit calls out to you and you faintly hear His voice. You cry, “Here I am, Lord,” but you hide again.

You don’t want to be known.

You’re ashamed because of what this world has been for you. You’re ashamed of what you’ve become.

All your life you’ve given bits and pieces to those around you, just as I leave my bits and pieces for you to find. Small offerings for others.

You are never fully committed.

You don’t belong in this world. Your true life is with me, now and forever.

It’s okay.

The things that happened to you in this time are over. You were a child, unable to defend yourself like a warrior and with no one to protect you.

Your father was mighty, but unaware. Your mother was fierce and is fierce still, but you protected her from the truth. You took from her the RIGHT to avenge your honor.

It’s over now.

The past can’t be changed. Not the past in this life, nor the other.

There’s no need for remembering. It doesn’t have to hurt, and you don’t have to mourn for a childhood lost that you can’t remember.

Just let it go.

Do all you can to protect the children in your care. Watch them carefully and know the blackness that surrounds them.

Mourning Song, come out of the fog!

Thanks for reading!

I write about recovery, life, grief, personal responsibility, social issues, and overcoming. Email: allison@moodyoops.com, Blog: https://moodyoops.com/

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store